Intentional Conversations in Unprecedented Times
What conversations are you having with your little ones?
We keep hearing words like unprecedented, strange, scary, historic, and challenging. Any one of these words would give me pause, and now they are being used together... constantly. My challenge this week: stop and think about what intentional conversations I am having with my children to help process what is happening right now to our world.
My children are older (two being adult age and one being a teenager) and the conversations I have with them are focused on what questions they have. They are accessing their own information, so I have very little control in this, but I ask about what they are reading and hearing. I reflect with them, and I ask what they are feeling. I also guide them to the proper resources, if they are going to find their own information, then I need to point them towards a proper source.
You are your child’s primary source. Your children are learning how to handle challenging moments by watching and listening to the adults around them. I can’t stress this enough, they are listening all the time, especially when you think they are not. Do your very best to keep grown- up conversations away from little ears.
For many of your children they are probably more thrown off by parents and siblings being home. That is the biggest direct change they can see and feel. We all know how family vacations can change and impact our regular routines, and this isn’t a vacation. They can see everyone's home, and they can feel the change in routine.
How to help them understand the changes...
Be intentional with your words: Think about what information is important for your child to have right now. What will help them understand what changes are happening around them.
Keep things simple: Less is more in these situations. It’s ok to say to your little ones, “I don’t know, but other people are working on finding out the answers.”
Be calm and matter of fact: Explain what it is. Relate it to things children already know about. It is a virus that makes people sick but that we are healthy now and helping others to be healthy too. (this is why we wash our hands, and throw away our tissues, and cough in our elbows- things we do all the time can help you and others stay healthy)
Remind them of the things we do have control over: What are you doing to show the changes in your regular routines. Visual schedules help everyone know what is going on. Have your little ones pick some activities they would like to do and plug it into the schedule.
Move on: Don’t dwell on the conversation. The more you talk about it, the more they will listen, and the greater the risk of losing the conversational goals you set out with in the beginning. And right now we don’t have a lot of answers, so keep it brief.
**Maintain as many routines as you can: Keep the routines you can and make adjustments to the ones that must change. Try not to change routines that can stay the same (bedtime, meals, brushing teeth etc…)