Balancing regression during the COVID shutdown
We are balancing many things right now. We can list them, but you know what they are. For now, let’s just focus on balancing regression. As we adapt to our new schedules, routines and togetherness, it is a common occurrence for your child to regress in a skill (or many skills). Being around family all day will change a person, so when your child suddenly stops wanting to do something, or wants your help to do well…basically everything... this is all normal. (And probably nerve wracking.)
Before you do something for your child, stop and think what does my child need right now. Why are they asking me to do this? Most often, the answer is because you are there...all the time. Your child is adapting to the changes happening around them, be mindful of what changes you are supporting/ allowing to happen. When this shutdown ends, what skills do you want and need to still be there for your child? Because as much as things continue to change now with everyone home, they will need to change back when everyone goes to work/school again.
Things to remember:
Regression can take many forms
Language (using baby talk, whining, crying), task refusal, seeking constant help, bathroom habits, any skill that was previously mastered that is now being challenged or reduced
Bringing your awareness to it helps. Acknowledge that your child is going through something and then look at what they are actually needing from you.
Control and engagement
Your child is trying to keep control in an uncontrollable time
By suddenly refusing to do a task or routine they know, they are forcing you to engage with them (even if it’s a frustrating engagement, you are still engaging)
Maintain as many routines and expectations as you can
If your child independently gets dressed, brushes their teeth, gets their own snack, finds their own clothes, washes their own dishes, etc… KEEP THESE EXPECTATIONS THE SAME.
When this COVID shutdown ends (and it will end) you want your child to be ready to transition back into things. If you modify their independence too much, you will be back to square one when we come out of this.
Prep your child for what is expected of them, and be consistent. Doing this in advance of a situation is helpful (For example: set up bedtime expectations earlier in the day not at bedtime)
Balance is a word we use constantly in the classroom. We are always looking to strike a balance between what the child is needing and how we can support them. Balancing regression right now is tricky because we are spending so much time engaging with our children. It is important to remember, our children are accustomed to spending (the majority of) their day outside of the home under someone else’s care. Balance being there for your child with maintaining typical expectations. We are here if you need us, please continue to reach out if you are looking for guidance, support, or just someone else to talk to.